The Big E3 Round Up [Strong Language]

It’s happened again, the big corporate circle jerk that is E3, and all consumers can do is hope a bit of errant spunk flies from the circle and pleases them with a bit of salty distraction from the inexorable journey to the grave.
Maybe it’s just that I’ve turned incredibly cynical over the years of exposure to the games industry’s shit but I find it very difficult to be in any way excited for E3 since almost everything shown is either years off, hyped to the balls and could never live up to it or will look considerably more shit that in the carefully choreographed “gameplay trailer”. And even as the first conference started I felt myself thinking “Oh why did I say I’d do this.” A feeling that is never a positive thing, nor one that abated throughout the whole ordeal.
Nevertheless, here I am on the other side of the conferences feeling a mix of relief and mild disappointment that I wasn’t proven wrong in my thoughts. So for what it’s worth, here is my round up of the E3 conferences and my thoughts on the shit that it’s spawned (that may have given the game away…)

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Snowy Duffield

A lifelong gamer, weaned onto it from a young age through the Gameboy and gradually onto other platforms. I am now a mostly PC gamer but my pet franchise remains to be (somewhat appropriately) Pokémon.